"Communism is Dead"

I do not ever shy away from talking to strangers.

Take my most recent trip to McDonald's. I will not tell you were this said McDonald's is because it chooses to remain anonymous. Just like I should have chosen to remain anonymous about the fact that I actually ate a McDonald's, got excited when my 2nd Big Mac was for the price of the recorded temperature at noon the previous day, ordered a large fry with BBQ sauce to dip it in and got 2 refills of Diet Coke. It is important to put emphasis on the DIET in Coke. I work out. It balances.

SO.

I standing there, soaking my ice cubes with diet goodness, obviously thinking of the irony when I notice this elderly lady staring at me. We'll call her "Golden." I mean, seriously, if I thought she wanted me, she was looking at me like that. Making me really paranoid. WTF was wrong with me? Yeah I got 2 Big Macs, whatcha doin there Golden?! So me, I confront her. In a nice way only the youngins' can do.

Me: I know, my pants have a lot of holes in them. I get a lot of flack from the older generations about how they used to throw their pants away when they got like that. I get it.
Golden: What? Oh honey no. I don't give a shit what you wear. I was just wondering if your husband was going to drop the tray because I thought that would be funny.
(Serious..I do not make this up..she said this to me.)
Me: I'm laughing..really. YOU are my new friend. That was about the BEST thing I've heard all day. That was awesome. Then I really, literally, hugged her.
Golden: You know what I think? To hell with what people dress like, say or do.
Then she grabs my hands and holds them..."To hell with it."
Me: You..are awesome. Thank you.

So I sit there and ask Bob if I embarrass him, he says no, I know the truth. Dude would rather me have one of those Dahmer masks on my face than have me talk to strangers and say something so absurd. But I don't care, I've got my f'n fries. Golden comes over to me before she leaves and says "Honey..you have a safe trip back home. To HELL with what people say or think. It's your life. Besides, Communism is dead."

Golden. I love you. Thanks for being in McDonald's with me.